The Bad Hombre Open, a tennis tournament sponsored by Donald Trump, presumably with other people’s money
Another year has come and gone, and with the summer solstice arrives another edition of the Donald Trump Bad Hombre Open, held at Trump’s mountain retreat in Guadalajara, Mexico — just another connection between the Trump family and rackets.
This year’s finalists are Caroline Garcia and Bianca Andreescu, both outstanding players. Garcia was tested in the semis on Friday by fellow Frenchwoman Alizé Cornet, who sounded the trumpet and pressed forward for three sets, but was finally dispatched by Garcia. Meanwhile, Canadian Andreescu got a leisurely walkover when Romania’s Simona Halep retired from the tourney with a neck injury.
Putting the best face on both players, Andreescu may be well-rested, while Garcia may be match tough. It should be a sensational final. Andreescu previously knocked out #1 seed Darya Kasatkina in the quarters. Should she defeat Garcia, it will be her first title since winning the U.S. Open in 2019, and a clear marker that her comeback is for real.
The Donald Trump Bad Hombre Open has managed to weasel its way onto the WTA tour, even though Trump has a reputation as a sexist. The tourney does sport some unusual features:
– In a throwback to 1970s boxing matches, each set number is announced by a bikini-clad female lofting a placard around the court.
– During changeovers, players have the juice from Trump steaks injected intravenously.
– Unsportsmanlike conduct is actually rewarded: Players breaking their rackets, yelling at line judges, and claiming the match was stolen are given extra ranking points.
– Chair umpire for all matches is Rudy Giuliani, drunk out of his skull, and dripping jet black hair dye from every orifice.
Trump’s brain has often seemed governed by ho logic, so it’s entirely appropriate that the tournament is co-sponsored by Hologic, a hi-tech manufacturer of artificial insemination devices for kangaroos.
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Ethics and Spirituality 