We explore the issue with over 35 images designed to enlighten and amuse.
Donald Trump deep in prayer
The spectacle of Donald Trump allegedly sleeping in court (and subsequent debate) has led to a profound epistemological question: How can you tell when Donald Trump is sleeping? This has no easy answer. The ex-president’s eyes are notoriously beady, and when he scowls (which is much of the time) they may appear fully closed to the casual observer.
Donald Trump: Art of the Scowl (1)
Donald Trump: Art of the Scowl (2)
Some temerarious scholars have approached the would-be monarch with a pair of calipers, hoping to measure those few microns which (according to one theory) distinguish between his sleeping and waking states by the distance between the upper and lower eyelids.
Donald Trump: Another prayer session? Or just a moment of deep reflection?
But alas, said scholars were rebuffed by Secret Service agents whose devotion to duty is admirable, but whose tendency to tackle and de-ball anyone approaching Trump with a pair of calipers may reveal an excess of testosterone. Moreover, the test is rendered ineffective where sunglasses are deployed:
Donald Trump sporting the Jim Jones look
A straight ahead courtroom sketch of Donald Trump (though he does seem to be moulting)
To quote The Rolling Stones: “What can a poor boy to do?” ‘Cept to join in a cavalcade of fantasy art exploring Trump’s level of consciousness (or unconsciousness) at various moments in time.
Donald Trump: Fast asleep, or merely expressing haughty scorn for the proceedings?
The Land of Nod has another citizen today: Sleepy Don
These artworks — which find Trump in various attitudes of repose or dress — don’t decide the question. It’s up to viewers to guess whether Trump is awake or asleep. At times he’s clearly awake; at others clearly asleep; but often the answer’s a toss-up.
A rare sketch captures Sleepy Don with both eyes open, looking in the pink
“Cleanup in Aisle 10!”
It’s “Come Dressed as a Leprechaun Day” in Manhattan criminal court, and The Donald has the winning costume.
While there are no hard and fast rules, we can make a few broad generalizations: Trump is more likely to remain awake and alert in the presence of female pulchritude. He’s more likely to doze off in places like courtrooms where there’s little opportunity for romantic conquest.
Donald Trump: “To perv or not to perv, that is the question.”
Sleepy Don has no brightly colored objects to play with today; no couch buddies from Congress.
Facial musculature and body posture are helpful clues. If his face looks tense, and his body erect, he may be fully awake — notwithstanding that his eyes have narrowed to barely perceptible slits.
The Donald is awake and alert, even though his eyes have narrowed. The temp agency sent a professional yeller to assist him, should his vinegar abate due to dehydration or fatigue.
The Donald sometimes gets a little chilly in court. The blanket makes him feel more cozy.
After a long day, Sleepy Don likes to head home, slip into something comfortable, and celebrate the moments of his life with international coffees. The authoritative aroma of Hungarian Dictator fills the room as Trump peruses his vintage stash of Dilbert comics.
Back in court: Trump’s getting to an age where he’s a little careless when dressing.
If his fist is clenched, this may indicate a predilection toward imminent activity. On the other hand, one should not be deceived by the fact that he’s seen with a prop like a pen or a sheaf of papers. These props may be intended to disguise sleep.
Donald Trump, fist clenched and ready for action.
Sleepy Don in the arms of Morpheus. He grips a pen tightly.
Donald Trump: “I think I’ll just study these papers for awhile…”
Even an outthrust jaw is no guarantor of wakefulness:
Sleepy Don on brain base: His jaw remains locked in an outthrust position, while his consciousness roams in some uncharted lumber room of the universe.
Still, even such as Trump may have his moments of introspection, when great matters are pondered:
“What is the meaning of life? Was Wittgenstein right when he claimed that explicitly ethical remarks appear as scattered islands within the ocean of logical and linguistic investigation?”
Although formal research remains sketchy, we can posit the existence of five stages of Trump sleeping. These range from mild drowsiness to full kick-off-your-shoes and lie prostrate on any convenient planar surface. An intermediate stage is one where Trump’s face begins to resemble a bag of vegetables which has been left in the summer sun too long.
“You are getting very sleepy…” Is Trump’s narcolepsy contagious?
A pillow would be nice, but the polymers in Sleepy Don’s hair act as a cushion of sorts.
Donald Trump: Vegetables on sale today (1)
A further area for speculation is “What does Trump dream about?” This area is addressed via studies done in an Impressionist or Surrealist style.
A Christmas card couple
The game of Twister
When dreaming, things get all confused in The Donald’s subconscious.
Donald Trump’s Strange Dream (1)
Donald Trump’s Strange Dream (2)
Donald Trump’s Strange Dream (3)
Donald Trump’s Strange Dream (4)
Donald Trump’s Strange Dream (5)
There’s clearly an embarrassment of riches in the art dept. here — so much so that one is tempted to assign categories like “freestyle,” “absurdist,” and “full Zap Comix territory.”
Sleepy Don doesn’t have much use for books, except as a chinrest. We think it’s Sleepy Don, but it could be Geppetto The Woodcutter, or maybe Babe Ruth.
Sleepy Don plans for a Memorial Day weekend at the Bates Motel. “Norman!”
Hail to the Chief!
But life is too short to go all Dewey Decimal System on such a frivolous venture. So apply your own taxonomy! (and get those tacks offa me).
“Somehow or other, I’ve just got to get on that Trump jury.”
Disclaimer: These images are protected by the First Amendment as it applies to political cartoons, political satire, and commentary on current events, public figures, and public concerns. None of these images — whether cartoons, sketches, or drawings — depict real events. The author is a firm believer in peace and understanding. It should go without saying that nothing in these images is intended to provoke violence or hatred. On the off chance that you come away with a feeling that Donald Trump is not a good guy, I urge you to express that feeling peacefully by voting for Joe Biden this November.
Michael Howard
The views expressed are my own, and do not represent any other person or organization.
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